a strangely quiet night

Well, tomorrow I drive the thesis down to Oakland, get the final signature and deliver it off to its destiny --which is of course involves nothing more than its being bound into two copies. One copy will go into the school library's permanent archive and the other becomes part of the circulating collection. I'm sure it'll be a hot borrow once it's there.

Cough.

Anyway.

I imagine December's going to be a bit of a blur--in my head it is already half-over although, technically by my watch anyway, there is still an hour-and-a-half to go of November. You know, all the usual holiday rush of shopping, baking, get-togethers, parties, etc...no complaining on my part though. I love December, even the stress that comes with it. I love the icy weather, I love the festivities, I love the frenetic rush of cheer, I love the very December-ness of it all....

But I am looking forward to January already...because January is my second-favorite month for the exact opposite reason that December is my favorite...I love January's calmness and all the time that just seems to stretch out and linger.

I'm already thinking of things to do once 2005 comes around and mostly these things just involve reading. I'm really hungry to read books the books that have been piling up around here. Which of course isn't stopping me from wanting to get new books. (I may even finish those books listed in the right-hand column over there).

I'd like to check out Martha Witt's Broken as Things Are --her style's been called a "cross between Harper Lee and Flannery O'Connor."

And, of course, I have to read the new Marilynne Robinson new, second novel Gilead--her first book, Housekeeping (published 23 years ago) is one of my favorites and this new one is getting pretty favorable reviews...

Of course, I'll probably just spend a lot of time sitting around watching the first season of The O.C. on DVD...but honestly, I think I've earned the right to slack off for a month or two.

Hopefully there will also be some films on the horizon as well. Last week we had the chance to see Sideways and really, really liked it....I had medium hopes for the film considering that I found Alexander Payne's "Election" to be so-so (I know, everyone else loves that movie -I thought it was a good concept with great actors and just middling execution). I also hated "About Schmidt." Sideways is a much better film than both of these previous efforts. It's sophisticated but not stuffy, warm but not sappy...and Paul Giamatti (of the amazing American Spendor) was absolutely perfect and he better get an Oscar nomination or else something's seriously wrong.

Anyway--if anyone has any good film recommendations, leave me a comment....OK, now there's only an hour left to go of November...I better go enjoy it.

one of these things first

I think I have momentarily (temporarily? for a while?) shaken off the blues that had descended around me over the last few weeks. Not sure what to attribute it to because my life is pretty much the same as it's been the last several months. Perhaps it's the extra-crisp, super-icy weather. Maybe it's that I've got this next week off and will (hopefully) accomplish much in the way of holiday shopping and preparation. Maybe part of the credit goes to getting my thrift on today for just $10 and scoring some very cute dishes (the grooviest-ever pyrex casserole dish that has an orange bird design...it only needs a lid). Hanging out with Kim while thrifting certainly helped.... Or, perhaps it was last night's late Pancake Circus dinner (veggie omelette with banana and whipped cream-topped pancakes). Likely it has something to do with the fact that the thesis is done. Maybe it is that the sky is very pretty right now: golden yellow and fading into night...

Whatever it is...it's nice not to feel so heavy, so down, so sad....I'll enjoy it while it lasts...

It's pretty quiet around here and I guess that's a good thing. I have the next week off from work --and I really, really need it to get my life in order, pre-holidays. School is almost done, the thesis is done except for one final signature, which I'll get on Wednesday when I drive it down to Oakland to turn in. Then, I have two more weeks of class (which means one book to read and one writing assignment) and then ... . Well, then, that' s it. Then I'm done. And I have my MFA.

And I really have no idea what I'll do next. Besides work, of course. I suppose I should be happy that I don't have to suffer through the post-grad school now-I-have-to-get-a-job blues.

But, I'll admit, I'm still more than a little freaked out about being done. Because I don't feel as if I'm done with anything. I feel as if I have a million miles left to go.

Maybe I'll always feel that way.

Probably. I suppose it's part of this "process" they keep talking about.

Blah, the whole thing's giving me a headache. I need a nap.

Speaking of Dan Rather...he's now out of the CBS anchor chair...interesting, yesterday I heard a rumor that he was headed to CNN, but that doesn't appear to be the case.

Because you know I love my Dan Rather, here's a roundup of some his election night Ratherisms.

My personal favorite:

"We had a slight hitch in our giddy up, but we corrected that."

Of course, Dan also dusted off and re-used my 2002 election night favorite:

"If a frog had sidepockets, he'd carry a handgun."

I didn't want to like the new Devendra Banhart album - because frankly I thought he was horribly pretentious when I saw him perform live.

But I do like it. It's quiet and pretty and pensive.

It's just like when I tried to get over Bright Eyes but was foiled by "Method Acting" - a quite amazing song.

So I guess that is that.

I've definitely been on this weird emo roller coaster the last week or so and all I can say is that I'm glad that the ride finally seems to be slowing down. Because pre-holiday season crying jags, temper tantrums and depression? Not so fun. Besides, I'm too busy for such things. Work is kicking my ass. School is coming down to sorting through the devilish details - and that's emotionally draining. The social life is ticking on and I'm trying to squeeze in fun things here and there (Happiness did check in recently for the Death Cab For Cutie and Wilco shows).

While I technically still have 11 days until the thesis is due, I'm trying to get it in by Tuesday (i.e., six days from now) so that we may go out of town over the Thanksgiving weekend and I'm also trying to finish wrap up about 2 weeks' worth of work between now and next Wed. as I'll be on "vacation" (notice the ironic use of quotes) from Nov. 25-Dec. 3. Other than this trip to Oregon that we hope to take, the "vacation" will mostly consist of such things as closet-cleaning, holiday shopping, file-organizing, getting my car tuned-up, doctors' appointments, etc.

I know, my life is so much fun you just can't stand it. Me either.

Here's a good thing though - I just paid $9.99 on eBay for a rare Rilo Kiley EP (sealed). The same disc just went for $60 earlier in the week.

I'll take my victories where I can.

Doh!

For your viewing pleasure: Dubya: The Movie. Only Jon Stewart has made me laugh this much in the last two weeks.

Last night I made a solemn swear to stop watching so much TV.
Because I like brain-rotting and all, but a girl has to know her limits.
That said, tonight I plan to watch:

• Last night’s episode of The Daily Show


• Last night’s episode of Survivor


• Tuesday’s episode of The Gilmore Girls


• Maybe an episode of The Office

You see, my head hurts and I had to drive to Oakland in the craziest rain ever and then class?Not so fun. This week has just been very emotional and I feel as though I’ve been beat up and you know what? TV is all I can handle right now, that’s what.

So take that world and stick it in your pipe. I’ve had enough of everything and I need to temporarily tune in and drop out.

Of course the GOP faithful aren't apologizing for anything, but looking at this particular picture from the We're Not Sorry web site (a response, of course, to Sorry Everybody)....well, somehow it actually makes me feel better about the whole stupid thing. (Via Wonkette).



P.S. Today's Veterans Day...both my grandfathers served in WWII. My dad served in Vietnam. So today I'll be thinking of them as well as anyone else who's ever served - present troops included.

I know that I tend to over-quote various NY Times writers such as Maureen Dowd. But you'll get no apologies from me on that matter. Not when Ms. Dowd is so damn shrewd:

"W.'s presidency rushes backward, stifling possibilities, stirring intolerance, confusing church with state, blowing off the world, replacing science with religion, and facts with faith. We're entering another dark age, more creationist than cutting edge, more premodern than postmodern. Instead of leading America to an exciting new reality, the Bushies cocoon in a scary, paranoid, regressive reality. Their new health care plan will probably be a return to leeches.

Also, I have a birthday coming up (well, sort of coming up, it's in the latter half of December) and if I were inclined to throw out hints, well then I might suggest the "I'm Blue" T-shirt from Mule Designs (Via Mighty Goods: Shopping Bag).

One of my favorites from Michael Moore's "17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists" e-letter that was sent out today:

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of
our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West
Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water,
all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in
lava. And no more show tunes!

Also, you should check out this site that allows you to apologize to the rest of the world. I think I'm going to make Cory take a picture with me and send one in tonight.

It's the little things that help give a perspective on the bigger picture and help keep you going. Anyway, I'll be back later today or tomorrow--remind me to tell you about the really good class discussion we had last night (I feel very priviliged to be able to sit in a classroom and talk politics for an hour --and no not everyone in there agrees with one another), the really nice birthday party and the really craptastic way in which I am now suddenly $226 poorer. Damn you City of San Francisco!

smells like teen spirit?

Alternet says the truth regarding the youth vote (ages 18-24) lies somewhere between the A.P.'s gloom report and the Mercury News's beacon of hope (free registration required):

Now that some of the smoke has cleared and the data has been crunched, it's clear that 2004 was, in fact, an amazing year for young voter participation. Whereas only 42 percent of 18-29 year-olds had voted in 2000, a whopping 51 percent showed up at the polls this year, making for a 9-point increase. The catch? Everyone else came out in record numbers too.

Hans Reimer, director of Rock the Vote, describes the youth turnout as “exceeding all expectations.” He points out that the percentage of youth who came out to vote this year was four points higher than in 1992, a number he says is “phenomenal.”

Still, it's hard for me to get excited about even 51 percent. With that much of your life left to go, how can you sleep at night knowing that you're virtually shredding your future rights?

One interesting thing though, Republican senator Arlen Spector has has warned Bush against trying to appoint an anti-abortion judge to the Supreme Court:

``The president is well aware of what happened, when a number of his nominees were sent up, with the filibuster,'' Specter added, referring to Senate Democrats' success over the past four years in blocking the confirmation of many of Bush's conservative judicial picks. ``... And I would expect the president to be mindful of the considerations which I am mentioning.''

With at least three Supreme Court justices rumored to be eyeing retirement, including ailing Chief Justice William Rehnquist, Specter, 74, would have broad authority to reshape the nation's highest court. He would have wide latitude to schedule hearings, call for votes and make the process as easy or as hard as he wants. ...While Specter is a loyal Republican -- Bush endorsed him in a tight Pennsylvania GOP primary -- he routinely crosses party lines to pass legislation and counts a Democrat, Sen. Joseph Biden of Delaware, as one of his closest friends.

A self-proclaimed moderate, he helped kill President Reagan's nomination of Robert Bork to the Supreme Court and of Jeff Sessions to a federal judgeship. Specter called both nominees too extreme on civil rights issues. Sessions later became a Republican senator from Alabama and now sits on the Judiciary Committee with Specter.

Despite a bruising challenge from conservatives this year in Pennsylvania's GOP primary, Specter won re-election Tuesday by an 11-point margin by appealing to moderate Republicans and ticket-splitting Democrats, even as Pennsylvania chose Democrat John Kerry over Bush. (via Salon)

Oh, and Salon just reported that, yesterday, Elizabeth Edwards was diagnosed with breast cancer . The political process truly can be poisonous. Best wishes to her and her family.

P.S. Thank goodness for the absurdist sanity that is the British press.

Fight or flight

OK.

Deep breath.

What a strange, awful day.

But then again, not so awful.

Why? Because people are talking about it. People are pissed. Nearly 50 percent of the people who voted yesterday are mad as hell.

(The other people who didn't vote? Well, we're also pissed at you, but we'll deal with thatlater. Especially you nine-out-of-tens under the age of 30 who completely ignored your chance to participate in the future of this country. Jesus, I mean, fuck you and the apathy you rode in on. In the meantime, we really don't want to hear your complaints unless you're willing to put your ballot where your mouth is.)

So, anyway, while there are some people making moaning noises about France and Canada, there are others who don't want to take flight, there are others who are ready to keep fighting.

We''re all nursing our wounds today, but this is really about what we are going to do tomorrow.

And the next day.

And the day after that.

And for the next four years. We can do it.

Think small. Think big. Think in between.

Think ACLU. Think NARAL. Think GLAD.

You get the picture.

Think. Think. Think.

And do.

Siure, there is the instinct is to crawl beneath the bed with the cats, but really this is the time to get to work.

I would write more, link more, rant more...but I have to finish up an enormous, headache-y pile of homework right now.

It kind of boggles the mind that we have to get back to all the"mundane" stuff, to the responsibilities of everyday life--but we do. And doing that is at least part of the battle.

laughing on the outside, crying on the inside...

My favorite post so far from the Comedy Central Election Blog:

JOANIE HEARTS KERRY
Posted 8:45 p.m. ET
If you're in New York, get down to the CNN window in Times Square. It's like TRL for grown-ups!

See, I can stil laugh at the absurdity of it all.

The booze helps.

Speaking of elections, I'm surprised that I never caught this before considering that I'm a huge Gilmore Girls fan, I'm surprised that I've never caught this before ( perhaps Amy Sherman Palladino & Daniel Palladino just haven't made a big issue of it?) - but I just read something interesting on Salon and then confirmed it (thanks to a Google search) on the Village Voice:

On Gilmore Girls, Sherman-Palladino has carved out her own wishful-thinking world that closely resembles our own, only smarter, gentler, and funnier. In fact, according to Sherman-Palladino, the place even has political advantages: In Stars Hollow, Al Gore is president.

Shoot, why not take it a step further and just elect Nader or let Clinton serve out a few more terms?!

Tiny bubbles

I know everybody else is doing it, but really - do you need me to remind you to vote today? Probably not. One of my regular Internet reads has taken down its content in an effort to convince you to get out the vote ...hell, even my spam is telling me to vote today. I think you get the picture, people.

As for me, I voted shortly before 9 a.m. this morning. We arrived at the polling place not sure what to expect, but happily got there before the lines started forming (said lines were inching out the door by the time we finished). I must admit though that today's process freaked me out a bit. I didn't realize they'd replaced our punch card ballots (you know, the ones with the potential for hanging chads) with these Scantron-like forms. When the polling person handed me my ballot, gave me a pen and directed me to an empty booth, I momentarily panicked, thinking Where's the machine? Why don't I have a machine? What is this? What's going on?

Then I looked down at the form, saw all those tiny bubbles, and realized that the times, they had a'changed.

Although, hello, where was the number two pencil? Ink pen? Using a Bic pen would get you in trouble in your first period history class, for sure.

Anyway, I filled in my bubbles very carefully, gave my ballot to the poll worker and took my "I Voted!" sticker. (And no Cory, I don't just do it for the sticker. Almost, but not quite).

And that's it. That's all I can to, except watch the coverage and returns. Brace myself for the worst ... and hope.

Tonight will be drinks, TV flipping and, perhaps, an Ativan or two. Thank God The Daily Show's doing an hour of live coverage - Morrissey definitely has the right idea ... if only...(photo via Cory).

Oh, and happy birthday to my brother Stephen, even though we are politically light years apart.

Also a happy birthday wish to Symbian. Enjoy your Election Day/Dia de los Muertos/birthday craziness.

Does anyone else find it ironic that, this year, the election falls on the same day as Día de los Muertos? Hopefully this is not a bad sign.