Because "Jane Doe Austen's" (!) "Confessions of a Semi-Successful Author" with its "Five Things You Can Do to Help the Mid-list Author" sidebar seemed too depressing to actually read (on Salon), I instead checked out Bookslut's tips for how author's can quit whining and help themselves.

Remember:

Before your first book has come out, and you're still pretty sure you're going to be wildly successful because your publisher is throwing you a release party, be nice to the female website editor. Yes, she's drunk on the free whiskey and probably has smoked salmon and caviar breath, but when she comes up to you to actually talk about your book and possibly being interviewed on her popular website, do not accuse her of not having read your book and then ignore her for cleavage girl. She will never mention your book on her website. Ever.

Now, armed with this advice and insight. I feel less like throwing myself under the wheels of the nearest bookmobile and more like I can actually conquer my local bargain book bin. No, really.