Well, I'm still standing by my resolution to swear off resolutions but that doesn't mean I can't make lists of things for 2004:

• read more Philip K. Dick


• grow a tomato plant


• figure out the evils of dangling modifiers once and for all


• bake a pie - a good pie


• less talk, more rock

That should do it. The rest of the year will be the usual: school, work, school, work, friends, family, school, work. Hopefully I will graduate next December. Hopefully the job will continue to go well. Hopefully I will not go insane.

I think this will by my 2004 mantra: I will not go insane. I will not go insane. I will not go insane.

Speaking of not going insane, starting right now I am off work until Jan. 5 - that's only five days, but it's five glorious, mostly obligation-free days. I actually hope that it does storm tomorrow (but not as bad as it did yesterday) because I'd like to have the chance to sit in my pajamas on the couch with the cats and sip hot black coffee and read the paper and look out the window and feel grateful for the when and where and why. I haven't had enough of feeling grateful lately. Rather, I've been short-tempered and ill-natured and tired and wanting to run away. People are grating on my nerves, I'm getting odd phone calls from faraway people and strange little details are bedeviling me.

I just want to peek through the blinds and marvel at the way the wet yellow leaves brighten up an otherwise rainy, windy day. I want to feel warm and content and in the right place at the right time.